{"id":299,"date":"2018-03-09T12:31:19","date_gmt":"2018-03-09T11:31:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/m40.hekko24.pl\/projekty\/visitpoznan\/?page_id=299"},"modified":"2018-06-14T13:38:35","modified_gmt":"2018-06-14T11:38:35","slug":"dowcipy","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/visitpoznan.info\/en\/poznan\/curiosities\/jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"JOKES"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

\nPoznanians have a sense of humor and they don\u2019t take the stereotypes connected to them too seriously. They laugh at the jokes made about them. Our ability to laugh is so honest and integral to us that in 2008 the Town Hall ran a contest for the best joke about Poznan and Poznanians.
\nHere are some of the entries which we found very funny.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s the first line in every Poznan cook book? \u201cBorrow one egg and one kilogram of flour.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

After a nuclear attack what will be left of Poznan?
\n– Fried potatoes<\/p>\n

***
\nWhy do Poznanians always pour tea to the very brim of the tea coup?
\nSo there\u2019s no more place for sugar or lemon.
\n***
\nJachu speaks with his son:
\n– if you\u2019re a good boy we\u2019ll go the pastry shop and look at the ice cream.
\n***
\nThree people meet: one from Warsaw, one from Cracow and one is a Poznanian.
\nThe first one bought half a litre of vodka for everyone to celebrate the meeting.
\nThe second one brought tumblers and some snacks,
\nThe Poznanian had his mate come and pour the liquor.
\n***
\nThree gentlemen meet at a restaurant, they are all owners of breweries.
\nFirst one \u2013 the Okocim Brewery.
\nSecond one \u2013 the Tyskie Brewery.
\nThird one \u2013the LECH Brewery of Poznan.
\nThey all sit down at the table and make their orders:
\nOne Okocim please. \u2013 says the first one.
\nOne Tyskie please \u2013 says the second one.
\nCoca Cola please \u2013 says the third one.
\nThe other look at him quizzically and ask:
\nWhy are you ordering Coca Cola?
\nWhat? If you\u2019re not drinking real beer I\u2019m not going to either.<\/p>\n

***
\nFather and son go on a trip to Warsaw. They rent a room in a hotel, the father is just unpacking the luggage while his son is looking around the room, when after a minute the hears his son shout: – Look Dad! There\u2019s a bath tub here!
\nToo bad, if this was Saturday we\u2019d have taken a bath together.
\n***<\/p>\n

Two men are fighting about which one of them is more of a cheapskate, one from Cracow and one from Poznan. They agree on a bet. They\u2019re going to go to a church to see how much either of them is going to put on the donation collection tray. The mass begins and the priest is approaching with the tray. Man from Cracow put down 1 grosz on the tray and gave the Poznanian a content look. The Poznanian returned the look and said: Father, that money was for the both of us.<\/p>\n

***
\nA mouse from Poznan meets with a hamster from Cracow. The mouse complains:
\nHamster, how is that possible? We\u2019re both furry animas, you have a tail \u2013 and I have a tail, you have whiskers and I have whiskers, you have front teeth that protrude from your mouth and I have them too. But when they see you they hug you, pet you and tell you you\u2019re beautiful and when they see me they scream and run\u2026
\nWell, Mouse, you see, in the city where you live you\u2019ve got some pretty bad pr\u2026<\/p>\n

***
\nFour retired gentlemen decided to go on a vacation to Gdynia. As they\u2019re walking about the city, they see a sign which says \u201call drinks are 10 groszy only\u201d. Surprised with this they enter the pub. Nice, clean place, lots of room, quite a few people. First thing they hear when they walk into the room is:
\nWelcome, lads! Here, take your seat. What\u2019s your poison?
\n4 martinins please.
\nComing right up… that\u2019ll be 40 groszy.
\nThe gentlemen gave each other a look, drank their drinks and ordered the next round of drinks. The tab was 40 groszy. They ordered another round of martinis and yet again the tab was 40 groszy. Finally one of them couldn\u2019t keep their curiosity in anymore and asked:
\nBarkeep \u2013 why so cheap?
\nWell, you see\u2026 This is how it is. I was a sailor years ago, I\u2019ve always dreamed of having a place like this. I won 25 million dollars in a lottery, I returned to Poland, I bought the place, and because I like people I decided to sell cheap drinks. I don\u2019t need to worry about making money because I already have it. I\u2019m doing what I love and I get to meet some interesting people.
\nOne of the retired gentlemen was delighted:
\nWhat a wonderful story! Tell me, why have those three men been sitting in the corner for the past 40 minutes and they haven\u2019t ordered a thing?
\nOh, them. They\u2019re from Poznan and they\u2019re waiting. Happy hour with 50% off starts at 6 PM.
\n***<\/p>\n

Beggars are boasting between each other about how much money they collected on Sunday. The one who was sitting by the church says \u201cSat there all day, I pulled off 50 zloty, a 50 I tell you.\u201d. The second one who was sitting by the Dominican church says \u201cright, and I got a 100!\u201d. The third one says: \u201cAfter four hours I had me a 300.\u201d. The other are shocked: \u201cWhat? How did you manage that? Tell us.\u201d \u2013 \u201cI had a card saying I\u2019m collecting money to return to Warsaw\u201d.<\/p>\n

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